Knowing the Difference Between Grief & Depression

When you lose a job, when a romantic relationship ends, or when you lose a loved one, going through a period of sadness is typically normal and expected. The sadness and loss you feel is grief but for some the grief may turn to depression. How can you tell whether it’s grief you feel or depression?

Both grief and depression are common human emotional experiences, characterized by sadness. They share similarities and may often be mistaken for each other to some degree. 

It’s important to understand the differences between the two in order to be clear about your own experience and get the proper care.

Grief Defined

Grief is a feeling of anguish that comes with a loss. More often than not, it is associated with the death of a loved one, but can also come with any significant loss in your life such as a pet, a change in circumstance such a serious health diagnosis, a miscarriage, or a divorce. Grief is a normal process that allows for feeling and processing emotions in order to move on with life healthily.

Symptoms of grief include sadness, emptiness, and longing. When it comes to losing a loved one, grief has four main tasks: accepting the reality of loss, working through the pain of grief, adjusting to an environment where the loved one is missing, and finding and enduring connection with the loved one while embarking on a new life.

Depression Defined

Depression is a mental health condition that is also characterized by feelings of sadness but goes a bit beyond what is considered a normal level. With depression, you may also feel hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness, and lost interest.

Depression can impact the quality of your sleep, your nutrition and appetite, thinking, energy levels, and overall quality of life. In more severe instances, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts or actions.

Similarities Between Grief and Depression

At face value, depression and grief can look and feel similar. Both cause feelings of intense sadness. Both can impact your mood and send you on a painful emotional journey.

When you’re grieving or struggling with depression, you may cry often or, conversely, feel numb, become irritable, experience mood swings, and feel some level of distress. Either can influence your eating habits, appetite, sleep patterns, and willingness to engage in social activity.

Depending on where you’re at in your grief process, anger and resentment may be shared emotions between the two.

Differences Between Grief and Depression

Differentiating between the two can be difficult at times. As you can see, there are many similarities between them both.

Grief is a natural response to a loss, so as the loss becomes less acute, so should your grief. Typically, you should notice your symptoms decreasing over time.

Depression symptoms, though, tend to persist no matter how much time has passed and can last a lot longer with no end in sight. There also doesn’t have to be a specific loss that triggers depression into effect. It could be several little things or a traumatic event. Depression symptoms can also increase and worsen if professional help is not sought out whereas grief may not require the help of a professional at all.

Additionally, grief can come in waves where you have moments of pure joy and laughter then followed by sadness again. Depression can also come in waves, but where there’s depression, there is usually difficulty feeling any positive emotion even if there are positive circumstances surrounding you. A grieving person is usually focused on the lost loved one whereas a depressed person tends to be more focused on their emotional experience of worthlessness, sadness, and lack of motivation. A depressed person tends to struggle with self-esteem whereas a grieving person’s self-esteem is not usually a factor.

It's important to keep in mind that grief and depression are complex emotions and may not fit into tidy labels or easy definitions. 

Treatment Options 

Grief can typically be managed on your own, and may not always need external help or professional support. Depression, on the other hand, more often requires professional treatment to recover. This can include therapy, alternative treatments, or medication management.

Different coping mechanisms and social support groups are additional methods for managing both grief and depression. Sharing your symptoms with others can help release you from your struggles.

If you’re dealing with grief or depression and need help managing your symptoms, please contact us to learn more about grief counseling or depression therapy.